The Russians Are Coming

Back in the 1960’s, there was a moderately funny movie entitled, “The Russians Are Coming! The Russians Are Coming!”. It was all about a Russian submarine that runs aground off a remote island near Massachusetts, and the occupants of the sub come ashore trying to get help. Of course, the movie came out at the height of the Cold War between the U.S. and Russia, and everyone was pretty edgy, so maybe that’s why it had only moderate success.

Well, last week, the Russians came to Searsport. A lovely young couple came into the coffee shop and we could tell by their accent they were from another country… so we asked… “Where are you from?” …  “Russia”.

Well, that stopped all the idle chatter in the shop. We frequently get foreign visitors, and not just from nearby Canada. Already this year we’ve had folks visit from France, Australia, England, Greece, Mexico and New Jersey.

You see, we’ve never had a Russian before. It’s not that we don’t think Russians visit the U.S. but we figured they go to our larger metropolitan regions, and not to little old Searsport, with a winter-time population of just over 2,000 souls trying to stay warm.

Well, they were delightful. He did most of the talking in very broken English, and she struggled even with the few English phrases she probably learned 10 minutes before her flight. What intrigued us most about her was the GREAT camera she had. She took pictures constantly… and from all kinds of angles… and sometimes with just one hand. We tried to ask if she was a professional photographer, because she wasn’t just snapping a large quantity of pictures… she obviously knew how to frame shots and things like that… stuff that only a professional would know how to do. 

Her non-English, and his broken English, never got us an answer that we could understand, but we did notice her camera “brand”. It had about 6 consonants and only one vowel, and was not a name we recognized, so we asked if it was a Russian camera.

Asking the country of origin of the camera had a hidden agenda for us. We were hoping to hear a short tale about how it was, indeed, a Russian camera and how it was developed from the technology of the Cold War Russian spy program, and now the optics were available to the ordinary public…. But alas, we got nothing of that sort. It was Swedish…. RATS!

When they left is when the intrigue really began. They walked across the street to Tozier’s Market. The only cars parked by the coffee shop were cars owned by folks inside the shop. Tozier’s had NO CARS in their parking lot… so we asked ourselves. “How did they get here?”

We explored many options – they could have been visiting relatives in town – doubtful, because we know everyone in town and who had visitors and who didn’t. They could have stayed at a local motel – probably not – the nearest one is about a 3.5 mile walk. They could be staying at a local B&B, but again, we know all of them in town and who has people staying with them, and where the people were from.

Our only recourse is that the theme from the movie, “The Russians Are Coming”, had finally come true. They washed ashore from a Russian submarine and had their dinghy hidden somewhere along our beach. Whew, are we glad the Cold War is over.

At least they were probably here on a peaceful mission… like to scout out little “out-of-the-way” places for a new wave of Russian tourism… or a new source of where to get blueberries to sell in Russian… or, at the worst… to find new markets for a Russian coffee-house franchise. Our devious minds were occupied with the many possibilities for the better part of an hour.

But then again… the option we forgot to consider… and the one that is probably true… is that Ken and Karen have been spiking our coffee.